Monday, November 29, 2010

Letter to the Person I Know is Going Through the Worst of Times

Dear Lorie,

You're in Germany right now with your sick husband who is waiting for a kidney donor.  I feel your pain.  You are torn between loyalty to your new foreigner husband and your Filipino children.  You have to be there for your sick husband at this time. I know you always worry for your children here who are almost without a guardian most of the times.  You cannot trust anyone completely and no one has enough time for your children.  Even your own mother would not be able to fill in your role for your children - who are mostly  in their teens now. Them being at this age is already a probable bomb, and on top of that, it is the first time for you and them to be far from each other.   And much could be said on the parenting skills of  your 62 year-old mother who has a 36 years-old lover!.  Again, Lorie,  I feel your pain.  


I cannot help you much.  I tried helping your eldest daughter on her school lessons, but really,  she is in the wrong course.  I hope that she and you realize that,  and the sooner the better.  Let me tell you this.  There's nothing wrong with a vocational two-year course.  What's wrong is making a square peg fit into the round hole, OMG.  I will not comment on other small personal  stuff.  You have already a handful and I don't want to add to it.

I would like you to know that you and your children, your husband too,  are included in my prayers. I am a wife and a mother like you, and I wish that husbands be healthy,  wealthy and generous;  and children be fit and strong smart;  and wives like us,   be patient, kind, affectionate and understanding and wise beyond our years.

Be strong, Lorie.

God bless.


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Letter to the Last Person I Kissed

Dear Husband,

We're not on speaking terms right now because I am so pissed off with you.   Why are men like babies?  We were both sick of diarrhea from our recent trip, and I got the worst of it.

You kept expecting much from me.  I warned you that I will not be my amusing and entertaining self as usual because...I am SICK.  Did you notice that I threw up five times and in between I had to sit in the toilet bowl for you know why!

You asked me if I'd like to check in to the hospital, and cancel our plane flight.   I told you, "No, I just would like to go home".  Yet we did not go home as fast as we could.  You decided you'd like to consult a new doctor for your hematoma, so I had to wait for you while you went for your hematoma consultation.  Did you not remember that I am  still with diarrhea?

Fast forward. We are at last home and I was able to rest my carcass in bed, very weak from vomiting, etc.  Later, you announced you were going out and you did.  You went drinking and when you came back you were with diarrhea again.  I was furious, and when confronted, you arrogantly said "In case it was not obvious, I would like to be alone".  At my prodding you admitted you were pissed off with me.  Why? 

You thought that I was 'acting' and was not feeling that bad, and only wanted to get your attention.  Same with my fuc**ng walking stick.  You thought that I really don't need the walking stick but was just out to get your attention.  Something's very wrong here.  Did I get extras for my 'acting'. like a car, extra allowance, etc.  NADA, ZERO.    Think hard, husband.  I hope your brain's not fired from too much drinking and antibiotics.

It's Me, Your Pissed-off Wife


This morning after, we're now okay.  You know me, I don't hold grudges and  I realized something.  Maybe subconsciously you look at me as your nurse and a nurse is not supposed to get sick and that pissed you off.  Yes.  One of the things that I was proud of is being as healthy as a carabao.  So from now on I would take good fu**ing care of myself, even if it means having you eat all the pineapples that you like, instead of me gobbling them so that you won't have to eat much of them.  I was afraid that pineapples don't mix good with your beer. I was afraid you'll have stomach ache so I gobbled the damned pineapples and that caused or htat was one of the causes of my fu**ing diarrhea.

I will have you carry your heavy back pack instead of me carrying two back packs, one  yours and one, my  own back pack.  I was so worried that you'll hurt your bad back so I was like a martyr carrying two fu**ing backpacks for the two of us.  That caused my knees to buckle at Puerto Galera last May and until now, I am still hobbling like an old woman with my fu**ing cane.  No more martyrdom for me.  I will take good fu**ing care of myself.

Letter to Someone I Want to Give a Second Chance To

Dear Former Employer,

I am grateful that until now we have open communications, and I could safely say that we are friends, although not as friends as...... real friends, you know.  While working with you I learned so many things as you were unselfish in training materials, and you spent money to have us trained by professionals as regards picture and video editing.   You also have all the latest gadgets in photography and video recording/editing.  You are my idol as regards promoting and marketing our products and services.  Our studio did so well when we were together....despite our individual differences.  You are the conservative type, although you flirt a lot, while I am the daring and bold type although I look meek and mild.  To me you were like Oprah.  What a team we made.  While you were away in vacation  I accepted 'daring' jobs like doing 'boudoir' photography and accepted videography of 'all-men' party in a 'closed' country - Kingdom of Saudi Arabia!  Our studio was never wanting in jobs - photo or video services.  Sometimes I cried because I was sooo very very tired doing everything for the studio as I was alone doing everything - sales person, photographer, video recorder, photo editor, video editor, messenger, collector, cashier, janitress.  I worked from 8 AM to 10 PM with only 1 hour lunch break, and without overtime pay too!  However, you compensated with free lunches in five-star hotels if our studio did well. You also gave me a very nice aluminum camera case which until now I treasure. 

A photographer colleague was sent home for she was already too old plus she was becoming a burden to everyone, she was very wasteful, hypocritical  and arrogant too.  I was not sorry that her contract was not renewed,  A video recorder colleague's contract was not renewed too as she did not have the right attitude.  She was overly sensitive and always quarreled with the aforementioned photographer colleague.

I knew you were recruiting for two more employees to help me in the studio but there was a problem with getting  new visas.  I did not complain then, I am not complaining now, even if in my mind I labeled you as a slave-driver.  In fact I am thankful for the opportunity.  Because of these experiences, I have learned my limitations, realized  my potential.  When I left the studio three employees took my place!  You and I had plans of opening a studio in Dubai before, but I declined later as I found the love of my life who would not allow me to go back to work in any Muslim country. 

I miss working with you.  In fact, should you think of opening a studio, or any business, I am open for negotiation.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Letter to the one Who Broke my Heart the Hardest

Dear ____,

                                    Image from
I can't even mention your name as ours was a dangerous liaison.   You were already engaged  and I was in a loveless marriage when we met.   I guess I was a challenge to you as so many girls had a crush on you, while I ignored you.  I was so unhappy then,  and you with your wonderful heart,  thought it was your mission to put a smile on every woman's face.   You were very attractive to our office mates, but because I was drowning in my sorrows,  your charms did not work on me.  After almost two years though,    I had my weak moment and I gave in.  Our affair lasted for three months and I almost died when I ended it.  I knew we had no future.  I felt so bad seeing you broken-hearted, but I had to be strong.  We survived  it though,  and to this day, we have remained friends.  Thanks for the memories.

Are you recovering from an affair? You are not alone. This book will give you new leash in life, it's time for you to look at it objectively and move on:

If your life has been touched by an affair, whether you're the cheater or you've been cheated on, this is an incredibly wise and helpful book by someone with a LOT of experience helping people put their lives and marriages back together.
I want to say why this book is so good, but first I have to comment on Jillian C. "Qbridge"'s incredibly irresponsible review. Jillian has obviously not read the book, nor does she seem to have any experience actually helping people who are trying to deal with an affair, nor does she seem to be interested in helping people put their lives together after an affair. If she'd read the book, she'd have seen how Kirshenbaum clearly says you should not have an affair. But you do NOT help people who've been affected by an affair by labeling the cheater as "bad." Why would any wife want to heal her marriage if her husband is by definition "bad"? Does Jillian want every couple touched by an affair to get a divorce? Yes, the deed is a hurtful mistake, and Kirshenbaum goes to great lengths to show how, if there is going to be any hope of healing, the cheater has to show that he truly understands the pain and damage he's caused. That's the kind of thing in the REAL book, not Jillian's fantasy. It was careless and dishonest for Jillian to review the words of the title and not read or review the real book.
In reality, Kirshenbaum devotes many chapters to showing how to heal a marriage after it's been damaged by an affair, and this is the best help of its kind I've seen.
Another thing Kirshenbaum does that I've never seen before and is incredibly helpful is show that there are 17 different kinds of affairs. Each one grows out of a different need. Each one means something completely different. You can't know how to figure things out until you know why you or your partner had an affair in the first place. This is what a therapist would charge big bucks for, but you get it all in this book.
And Kirshenbaum has a lot of material on how to protect the kids and take them into account.
I've had a lot of experience helping people and couples deal with an affair, and I have to say this book will give everyday folk all the help they could need. The truth is that an affair is a turning point in people's lives. There's a lot to sort out. And a lot of anger and hurt. Kirshenbaum shows how to take all this into account and do what's best for everybody in
the end.

Reviewed by Dr. Susan

19 — Letter to Someone That Pesters My Mind—good or bad

Dear High School Classmates,

No, you don't pester my mind at all,  but I would like to write about some of you in this writing assignment.  It's the wonder of technology and the social networking website, Facebook,  which brought us all together. Of course, thanks to Skype, Yahoo Messenger, cell phones and of course phone cards which facilitated Sophie's calls from the U.S. and Charie's calls from Germany. 

Do you know I have been looking for all of you ever since I joined Facebook. (Needless to say, I did not have to look for Sophie, Lourdes and Charie as we've been in touch with each other even after high school and we've had our regular reunions in Manila and even in Saudi Arabia with Lourdes).   First, I found Jingh last year,  about August 2009, then I saw Kits at  Jingh's friends  list.   At Kit's friends list, I saw Dante.  I think I saw Mahong at Jingh's friends list too. Kits called me up over the phone and told me the happy news - her wedding in Canada.  Sophie encouraged Charie to join FB and phoned others too (all long distance calls from Chidago!). We connected with Luz in Legaspi City,  Lourdes in Saudi Arabia,  and Kits in Canada through FB too. Sophie called up Cesar Delfin and Joe Baliguat and we commununicate with them through their wive's email addresses.  Thanks so much Araceli and Sony!  I registered our  IHS group in Yahoo groups last   July 2010 and here we are now.
Jingh opened IHS in FB too.  Joe Bac joined Facebook Sept. 7, 2010 at James Carr's encouragement and with Joemel, his son's help. Joe Bac was so enthused about the reunion but unfortunately he passed away on October 19, 2010.  James Carr, Jingh, Welcvic and Gertrudez went to their place, condoled with the family and accompanied the family to Joe Bac's burial.  The rest of us sent money to the bereaved family, through Charie's niece, Rhea, who delivered the abuloy.  And speaking of the dead and the abuloy, before Joe Bac's demise, our group were also united in condoling with the death of  Rhodora's husband.   We thank Sophie for putting up our initial Reunion fund, to Charie and Dante for $ pledges, for Joe De los Angeles for delivering  the abuloy for Rhodora's husband and for Charie for facilitating the delivery of  abuloy to Joe Bac's family. 

We found Gilda through FB, and thanks to her son, Tony, our communication line is open.  Lorna was informed by Sophie as both are nurses in the U.S.  Jingh encouraged Jusimen and Ric and they joined our Yahoo group.   There are more but as of now, they don't have their email addresses or FB accounts yet.  Jingh and James Carr, etc. are coordinating with them.

Another milestone on Nov. 9:  Charie from Germany called up Welvic, while Sophie from the U.S. called up Marlon. How do I know?  We were at Skype too - in conference with James Carr, Sophie and Charie while they made their calls.  James Carr was a big help:  he obtained their cell phone numbers by going to the residences of these classmates, even Joe Bac's place.  Thank you, James Carr!

So many years passed, too many stories to tell.  We are all excited to see each other again...and until then I have to admit now, you pester my mind, he heeee.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

18 — Letter to the Person I Wish I Could be

Dear Perfect Me,

Is somebody like you alive?  You would have the sculpted body of Madonna without the bulging veins.  Hmmmn, why Madonna?  Because she and I have the same body type, if I don't eat much rice, cheesecake and chocolates, and If I work out at least two hours everyday!.  I could dream about having the body of  the current Miss Universe, but is sooooo stretching it, don't you think?

Yes, in ideal world, I could be as a good dancer as Madonna, maybe I could sing as good she does too.  But that is in ideal world, hehehe.  Come to think of it, my ideal person is Madonna.  I wish I know how to market myself as good as she does.  I wish I'm a genius like her who could max her abilities to make as much money as she could.

I prefer my love life over Madonna's right now, though.  And I would not trade my life experiences with anyone.

I love my friends, too and if I'd live my life again, I'd do the same things over and over again if that means I'd keep the friends that I have right now. 

Needless to say, I love my family, I love life and I am grateful to the Universe, I am grateful to God for all my gifts.

Dear Ideal Me, you don't need perfection at all.  Remember  that you were guided always by the faith in the Lord, and gratefulness in all He has done.  And remember:

What we are is God's gift to us.  What we become is our gift to God.  ~Eleanor Powell

16 — Letter to Someone That’s Not in my State/Country

Dear Prescy,

We've worked together in Saudi Arabia as videographer/photographer for almost two years and we became friends for life. 

Our Modir (studio maanger), Madame Mona tried hard to divide and conquer us but she did not succeed.  We had some usual  work conflicts like preferred placement of lights and other trivial disagreements but we worked as a team famously :)

We were so successful with our 'puga' (sneaking out)  because we helped each other - perfect teamwork as usual, lol.  (For those 'uninformed', going out alone in Saudi Arabia is not allowed with most employers unless a) you are married woman and you go out with your husband; b)  you are a man; c) you go out with a chaperon, usually the company driver, and only to buy your grocery needs for a week and for about an hour only.)   Prescy, we covered for each other, we sneaked out as often as possible and as often as we wanted, and woe to the other employees who envied our spunk and sisterhood!   Those were unforgettable, scary, thrilling and uniquely middle eastern experiences and I am lucky to have shared them with you. 

Prescy, you're still there in Saudi Arabia to work for your dreams.  I pray that they come true, for you  are a very wonderful person. I've never met anyone who is more hardworking than you, and you are a natural artist.  You took one of my favorite pictures of all time.  You have a photographer's eye, your patience is admirable and the big plus is that you are also a good businesswoman.  I wish all the best for you, my dear friend,  kapatid sa pananampalataya, my BFF.  Looking forward to our next reunion, sis.  Take care.


15 — Letter to the Person I Miss the Most

Dear Baby Jennifer,

Up to this day, I remember the things we did - when you are a baby, when you were a toddler, when you went to school - like these happened only yesterday.

In my mind I see you dancing in perfect beat  while I sing our songs - Ang Mga Baby, Ang Mga Bata, Jenipalay Girl, etc.  - songs with the same lyrics as the title from beginning to end (just like Mahal's song, Cutie cute cute). You were a rocker at birth, you always have a good ear for music.  You were a good dancer too. A very good sport too  for no matter how silly my songs and tunes were, you always danced to them with gusto.

You always laughed at my jokes however corny they were.  I guess you laughed with me more than you laughed at the jokes.  We  loved laughing, period.  I remember us rolling in laughter, our jaws hurting from prolonged laughing and always one of us will beg the other to stop, which in turn would elicit more laughter.

I miss  your baby version, that if I don't make an extra effort, I still see you as a baby especially when you are asleep.  It's true what they say that times flies so fast.  Babies become adults.  But you grew up so fast!

Not that I don't miss you at all now that you've grown up.  I miss you all the time, but as we've agreed with your biological Dad before and your new Dad now, you should be independent by the time you're 21 years old.  You have always lived up to our expectations and delivered some more surprises. We're so proud of you.

I love you Jenipalay girl,


Do you feel lonely now that your kids are all grown up? This might help you:
Feeling unsure? Scared? Expectant? Maybe even giddy? Is your nest empty--except for a bundle of mixed emotions? As you grieve what's behind and daydream about possibilities, you'll feel young again, ready for new challenges and adventures. Yet you may not know what to pursue or how to discover what's next. Many women in this season of life wonder: Who am I now? And what should I do? How will my marriage be affected? Does anyone need me? How do I relate to my children? Is it okay to feel sad? Or thrilled? What's next?

Barbara and Susan can be the friends you need to walk you through these new experiences. They'll guide you to answers, and together you'll discover a new purpose and passion for your next life adventure.