Thursday, September 30, 2010

An Answer to My Letter!

Surprise!  I received an answer to my "Letter to my Crush"



Here it is:

Sweetheart,
        I was thinking about last night at Sittin Bull, when I felt as relaxed as if I was laying on a cloud.  I wasn't doing or saying anything, just laying there like a slug, guzzling beer, but the time past so pleasantly.  For a moment I didn't know why, but then I realized it was because of you.  I feel comfortable just being near you, even when we don't have much to say.  I luxuriate in just being in your company.
       I guess the reason is that no one ever cared about me before.  In my entire life!  I've been telling you of my exploits, and they are not exaggerations.  In fact they're just the tip of the surface of the aloofness between myself and absolutely every other person in my sixty seven year life.  I appreciate you more than I've ever cared for any other person, or any other thing.
       I'm sorry if I haven't been a model husband.  I know I'm grouchy most of the time, but I just can't help myself. I'll try to do better, but please forgive me if I lose my grip some of the time.  Your happiness is very important to me, and I want to do all I can to assure it.  It's the objective of  my life, my love.
       Thank you for giving me your caring.

             With the deepest heartfelt ambition.

             Husband David

Thursday, September 23, 2010

11 - Letter to a Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To

Dear Lola Pia,

You are my father's mom, the person I was told I have lots of physical similarities.  They said that you look Japanese, as people tell me now too.  I say you are actually fairer, and with naturally wavy light brown hair and more fragile-looking for you were slimmer too.  You died  before I was  seven years old.
Lola Pia, leftmost, standing, 2nd row, when Lolo Itok died. I am the girl standing in front
I remember the times when you were with us for a short vacation after Lolo Itok died.  Nanay (my mom) and you did not get along well, although harmony was still maintained as you were so self effacing, albeit so sensitive too.  Nanay mocked you as you can't face anyone unless you've powdered your face.  Well, when Nanay got old she did the same too.  Nothing's wrong  with that.  In fact it's nice to smell old ladies with baby's talcum powder.  When I get old, I'll do short cut, I'll just splash on perfume, after shower of course :))



You always kissed us on both cheeks.  My brothers felt like princes and I a princess ( I was the only girl then)  when we visited you.  You offered us all the best that you had.  You taught me basic expressions in Spanish. You taught me how to count in Spanish; you taught me massage techniques so my tummy stays flat  and my breast and  nipples look up to the sky.  Until now, I do that after shower as you taught me.  Thanks you so much for taking the time to bond with me. 

I am sorry that sometimes I also mocked you as Nanay did behind your back.  I was insensitive and ignorant young girl.   I sometimes saw you crying after having an argument with Tiay Charing or with your other children.  They said that you were stubborn and disobedient to doctor's orders.  They were pissed off when your blood pressure was high.  I now understand how you were lonely then.  Your husband, Lolo Itok,  died years ahead of you and you  must have missed him.  He treated like a queen, he was your knight in shining armor.

Lola Pia, I would like to ask you why you were so fair;  if you have Chinese or Japanese blood, etc.  Because people ask me the same.  I would like to know how your parents were; how you played as a child, how many suitors you had; who's your favorite grandchild, etc.  I'd like to learn cooking from you,  would like to teach me more Spanish words, etc.  You were my loving Lola, with you I felt safe and loved.  Thank you for the memories, I wish we had longer time together.

Love,
Marilou

10 - Letter to Someone I Don’t Talk to as Much as I’d Like To

Dear D,

I can't write your full name but I know once you've read this you know I am referring to you. You're an ex darling, us being together for six years while I was working in Saudi Arabia until 2004.   I am happy that there was a time we were Facebook buddies; that we used to write to each other; and you used to call me at home;  but I guessed when your wife learned about us she got jealous or pissed off so our communications stopped, and I was blocked in your FB account.  I understand, no explanation needed from you.  I am lucky that my husband is a good sport and he does not mind me communicating with you, and for us to call each other occasionally.  But that is history for now, as I don't like to aggravate your wife more.


Maybe someday we see each other again.   I invited you here in our place but you answered. "for what", meaning you'd rather that we meet in a place where we could be intimate.   You must understand that for me fidelity in marriage is the only way.

You always travel in Europe, Middle East and Asia for your businesses,  and whenever I am in an airport in the U.S. or in Asia, I sometimes wistfully think that we see each other so we could have a short reunion.   I miss our conversation during breakfast, lunch, dinner, or while one of us cooks, or while we watch TV together.  You are a funny guy and I enjoy listening to your adventures and misadventures. 

You are sorely missed.  Take care.

Malou

9 - Letter to Someone I Wish I Could Meet

9 - Dear Franz,

You are my dear friend Charrie's husband for about twenty five years (?) now.   I 've heard lots of good things about you.  You and Charrie raised wonderful children, and they are all good looking too.  Congratulations for a job well done.  Congratulations too for an almost perfect union, I say almost only because they say nothing's perfect in this world, but if you have the perfect union, a big CONGRATULATIONS!

I love the way Charrie has blossomed from a young promising girl  to a mature and confident woman. I love it that she has remained sweet, generous and forgiving. Charrie is a strong yet a gentle person. I could feel that your children love her so too.  You must have a very loving and happy household.



You're one of the persons I'd like to met someday - to thank you for taking good care of a dear friend; for you and my husband to know each other and become friends too.

Sincerely,

Malou

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

8 - Letter to Favorite Internet Friend

Dear Rorie,

I have lots of favorite internet friends and it was hard to decide whom to write to.    I chose you because you  communicate with me regularly, plus you are all praises with me. I am so flattered, but I also feel uneasy.

We got to know each other because we have a common internet friend - an Australian guy whom we both met through a matchmaking website.  He is now with a partner, also a Filipina.  I have no hard feelings there, I am happy with my partner too, my husband.  I hope that someday you will meet your Mr. Right too, or  for your current partner to be the Mr. Right..  

You leave uber nice comments on my Facebook pictures, that I deleted some of them. Your comments  make me blush;  sometimes you scare me. No, I am not rich, I am not famous, and I don't have perfect life.   Whatever I enjoy today, I worked hard for it.  I believe that if one has a dream, one should work until her dreams come true. I also believe that God is an ever loving father, and He'd like us to be happy.  I don't think of Him as a punitive parent who will punish me if I have sinned, for He is a forgiving God.  Rorie, we keep the faith and we charge onward to make our dreams come true.  I look forward for us to meet someday and for our friendship to flourish. 



Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

7 Letter to Ex Husband

Dear Manuel,

Thanks for being the sperm donor, my daughters are the most beautiful daughters in the universe.  Jennifer and Jacqueline are  pretty -with fair and clear skin, thick hair and mestiza features, thanks to you.  They are now adopted by Dave and we all have the same surname, not yours but Dave's.  Because of their mestiza features, they pass as Dave's biological daughters too. 

I will keep this letter short as I don't like to write bad things about you.  You are already bitter and I won't add to your misery. 

I have already forgiven you.

Malou

6 - Letter to Stranger

Dear Stranger,

 I met you at the International Airport in Saudi Arabia.  You are a gentleman from Sri Lanka, wearing a dark suit and tie.  You were reading a newspaper and beside you was an attache case.  You look professional, so I chose to approach you.  I was scared of the airport inspector who checked my luggage.  He found a Swiss Army knife inside my luggage and he confiscated it.  I told him that I intended to give that to my dad as a gift. He feigned anger, and accused me of plotting a criminal act.  He and his cohorts made a big deal out of it.  He finally made a 'deal', motioned me to stand aside as he said he'd like to talk with me. I went past the inspection booth and waited at a spot where he directed me. Later the airport inspector  approached me and instructed me to go to the men's comfort room and wait for him inside.  I was so scared, I walked towards the men's comfort room and then detoured to the airport waiting lounge where you were seated.  I was thinking this is a public place and the a**hole would have to  drag me if he'd like to f*ck me inside the men's room.  I told you, kind stranger, of my predicament and you told me to sit beside you, as you will take care of it.  The airport inspector gave me the fishy eye and I stared back at him, daring him to make his move.  He was furious but he knew he was defeated and went back to his station.

Thank you dear stranger for being there at the right time and at the right place.

5 Letter to Dreams

Dear Dreams,

You are my best friend.  You were my companion as long as I could remember. I have several notebooks filed with my dreams, mostly my night dreams, and sometimes my daydreams.  I had a few nightmares too. In this  cyber age, I no longer keep notebooks, I keep an online diary with several entries detailing my dreams upon waking up. 

I learned how to interpret dreams during my darkest time.  I had bought several book of dreams, and learned how to decode not only  my nocturnal adventures but also of others.  I am proud to say that about 80 percent of  my interpretation, my dreams and that of others, are true be they are prophetic or only reflecting the dreamer's situation and problems.

Thank you dreams for giving me hope in my darkest hours.  You are a friend and through you I would  to give others hope in their times of despair. 

I communicate with the deceased through you, I communicate with elementals and other strange creatures through you.  Thank your for being the medium.  We will be forever friends.

Sincerely,
Malou

Friday, September 17, 2010

4 - Letter to my Siblings - Sisters

Dear Jo,

It was  Christmas morning when you were born.  You were and still our best Christmas gift.  Everyone was happy.  I was five years old then, while Edwin and Cezar were eight and seven years old respectively.  Before you were born, I was the only girl.   Some people teased me that I am not the apple of  Tatay's eyes anymore, especially that you were a very pretty baby, and Nanay told everyone that you are "Baby Gina Lulubrigida'.

I was not threatened by your arrival as Tatay made me feel that I am the favorite child of all time, the most beautiful girl that ever walked on our planet, the smartest kid in the universe, etc.  Even as I know that I am not that superior of a human being, it made me feel good.  I did not suffer inferiority complex nor  did I become jealous of you.  Our five-year-gap made me protective of you.  I was proud of you as our parents and brothers are.  

Not only are you pretty but you have spunk.  I remember when we went on vacation to Manila,  (first time for you and Maritz, second time for me),  when you were only four years old.  Despite of the condescending attitude to us from our city relatives we did not feel inferior as they'd like us to feel.  Especially you.  Our boy neighbors teased you, started calling names because we have darker complexion.  I saw you  getting pissed off and you picked up pebbles from our grandmother's garden.  You threw pebbles at our bullying boy neighbors.  They reciprocated, and soon pebbles, stones and other toys rained on the garden on our side and up the porch on our neighbor's side.   I did not participate as it was Tatay's rule with us children to fight our own battles - that older or younger children allow a sibling to prove himself worthy to his/her opponent and nobody shall interfere unless the fight became violent.   It was you against the two boys who were older than you.  Of course our aunts and our grandmother were angry at us, for it never happened before:  it was a peaceful neighborhood until we came, they claimed!  In my mind  I was thinking  it was only peaceful because they allowed the neighbors to bully them. 

Lola with Maritz, Jo, Joseph and I

I really loved to play house with you and Maritz even when I was already in high school.  My friends teased me about it, but every time we had the opportunity, we played with rag dolls, paper dolls, or cheap plastic dolls.  We also played priest ((priestess?) when we  incorporated food in our games.  We used the food, usually thinly-sliced ripe guavas, as the 'host' in receiving 'holy communion'.   We did not have enough time together as I was left in Manila to study.  The little time we had during my vacation in our province were memorable, because of the food we shared - unripe papaya, sugar cane sticks, etc.  When you went for a vacation to Manila, I already finished college, was working in a construction company and was considered a  'rebel'.  How dare I became bold enough to have a boyfriend, our grandmother and aunts were outraged!  You cried, you worried that I'd run away during one of my confrontations with Nanay.  You told me to please stay.  

We attended your wedding in Iloilo and how sweet of you that until now you kept my gift of red house dress for you, even as it's so well worn already.  

You are an ideal wife to Franco and ideal mother to three well-disciplined boys, who are all taller than you now.    You are so generous of your time and material gifts.  Thank you so much.  You are a fighter as always but you remained so sweet to us your siblings.

Even now Jo, we don't really have enough time together.  You are busy with your family in Iloilo and I am busy with mine.  My dream is that someday, the three of us sisters would have time alone and just enjoy being sisters, that we don't have to worry about our husband and children left in the house by themselves. 

Be reminded always Jo, that I am here for you. 

Your loving sister,
Malou

Dear Maritz,

You are our youngest sister, and  you were so lovable a baby.  People said you were "the fairest of them all", "anak ng prayle", "bata sang Kano", etc.  Even now, you have very light and  pinkish skin tone and light brown hair which you dye very dark brown, it looks black,  (while I have jet black hair which I  dye light brown, hayz).  Even as a baby your laughter roared, a little unusual for so small and skinny baby.    You were so fond of grabbing asses and crotches; it was your way of teasing.   You talked non-stop even as you communicated using only one letter word - A.

In our place, one's value is always associated with physical appearances and you and Jo were the 'beauty queens'.  With your fair skin and Hispanic looks, you were the local Miss Spain during the Miss Universe contest when Miss Amparo Munoz represented Spain.  You were only 11 years old then, and it was the first time that our local folks were able to enjoy the color TV that was left by the sales representative in our house.  When she won,  her victory was like your victory and all our kababaryo rejoiced for Ms. Amparo Munoz and for you. 

When we are together, and also with Jo, nobody could tell we are sisters, especially today.  It's strange that  we don't have much physical similarities, even as we have the same mother and father! Some people  said that you and Jo were the beauties of the family, while I had the brains.  That's not true.  You have beauty and brains, although you were a 'lil bit of a late bloomer.  Jo, who is always declared a great beauty,   proved to have lots of common sense outweighing high academic grades that I boasted when I was young.  With the Filipino standard, I may not be a beauty, but I have proven that outside of the Philippines my dark complexion and small nose are not at all beauty flaws.  So, may I safely say that we three sisters may look different but we are all beauties, as beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.  
                                            From left:  Maritz, Jo and I

(Dear gentle readers, I'm sorry we're so anal about beauty and physical appearance.  Nanay,  our mom, placed great emphasis on our looks.  We sisters lived and 'die' according to Nanay's perception of beauty.  Like other Asians, Nanay preferred fair skin  over dark or brown skin.  Aquiline or 'high' nose is better than flat or small nose, etc.  I was always described as the "intelligent one" while my sisters were the "pretty one", "the fair one".)

Maritz, you are the epitome of a modern woman - you had good academic gradesyou have street smarts, lots of commons sense, and sophistication beyond your chronological years.   You have conquered your fears, you know your strengths.  Whenever my daughters consult me about job strategies or social skills,  I give them advice and always add, "think how Tita Maritz will react to such a situation".


I am proud of your accomplishments and I wish you all the best this world could offer.  


Your loving sister,
Malou

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Day 3 - Letter to my Parents

Dearest 'Nay and 'Tay,

                                         (From Art Freebees Site (http://artfreebies.blogspot.com/)

'Nay, I am happy that you are reunited with Tatay and Cezar  in heaven.   Last August 26th, your first death anniversary,  we offered mass for you.    We three sisters, Jo, Maritz and I  even had our reunion, with Jo coming from the south, 45 minutes airplane ride plus 3 hour bus trip.  It was three hours bus ride with Maritz too.  It was also the first time that they visited me here in our new place. 

You will be happy to know too that  we have open and instant communications at Facebook with Edwin's daughters, Michelle and Neca just this week.    How fast time flies.  All your grandchildren are now in their teens and four are in their early twenties!  Jennifer (my daughter), Francis (Jo's son)  and Michelle (Edwin's daughter), all 23 years old,  have jobs already.  I am so proud of Jennifer who is now a team leader of their group.  Yes, she is still finishing her college education, but I have no doubt that she will be able to finish her course in less than 2 years time.  Diana (Maritz's daughter)  will be graduating this year and will proceed to take up Law.  I hope that we, your children  will be good example to your grandchildren.  I hope that we will be able to inculcate in them honesty, independence, the value of hard work, responsibility,  loyalty and pride and joy in each others' achievements, instead of bitter rivalry and intrigue mongering as was the case with other relatives.

I am so proud of Jo, Maritz and Edwin for bringing up good children.  Your grandchildren know the value of education, and each one of them work to realize their dreams. 

I had a colorful childhood experiences while with you and when you left me with relatives.  That's because I pride myself of being Tatay's daughter - courageous, independent, strong, and with a mind of my own.  They called me a rebel and a stubborn child.  They made fun of me, they gossiped about me, but I retained my self respect because you have pounded that on us, your children.     I made mistakes, I suffered the consequences.  May I quote from Invictus, "My head is bloody, but unbowed". 



'Nay and 'Tay, I will try to have your sense of humor as I grow old. I will always remember our shared jokes and laughter.   'Tay, in your macho way,  you loved us your children equally, we felt your love and we are stronger for it.  'Nay, you and Tatay were not so demonstrative of your affections but maybe that made us stronger.  Maybe next year, we your children  will have a family reunion and we will make sure that your grandchildren know your greatness.   You will be forever be in our hearts.

Love,
Marilou

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Day 2 of the Curriculum - Letter to my Crush

My darling sweetheart,

You are my greatest crush, and you are also my husband. I thank God that you are both and we are together always and forever. 

Thanks for the wonderful dinner tonight at the Sit-n-Bull with our daughter, Jackie.  You adopted my  two daughters, Jenn and Jackie.  Yesterday you and Jackie were interviewed for the 2nd time at  the American Embassy and this time, Jackie's U.S. tourist visa was approved.  Thank you my sweetheart for working hard for it.  I remember the first time when Jenn and Jackie's U.S. tourist visas were denied and you were more disappointed than anyone of us.  Earlier you were planning  for Jenn to apply again for the tourist visa and I dismissed your idea.  I am so sorry for being so curt:  you and I agreed that Jenn's circumstances are different from Jackie's, and I don't think that Jenn is ready again to face the American consul at the embassy. 

Thanks for the promise of making it up to me - after hearing my tales of woes with my ex and  my sad childhood experiences for the nth time.  You felt sorry for me and with your magnanimous heart promised me for the nth time  that you'll make my life happy, and never again will I have those sad experiences; that never again will I kowtow to anyone in order to get a job, and never again will I worry about where to get the money to pay for the apartment rent, etc.. 


You know that even without those promises I love to be with you, I enjoy your company and I will always take care of you because I fell in love with you the first time I've set my eyes on you.  To me you are the most good looking man ever, the best husband ever, the greatest love of my life.  I promise never again will I snarl at you, never again will I shout your name when I am trying to call your attention - because you prefer that I call out 'husband' instead of your name.  (I can't promise not to shout, though).   Never again will I take it against you if you steal my thunder while I am cooking. You are a good cook, like I am too, but too many chefs spoil the broth....  I will learn more about proof reading so that  I will be able to help you with your writing.  I will research for you things that you need enlightenment.  I will never tell anyone anything negative about you, but I will never tell the female of the species the things that I so admire about you - because I was burned several times already.   Some of my friends had a crush on you not only because of your good looks, but also because I was gushy  when I  told them how beautiful your heart is and how generous  your spirit is.  You know that I hate rivals for your love. 


Now I have to end this so we could sleep together for a longer time instead of me staying out of our bedroom and coming back at around 4 AM because I read mystery novels when I can't sleep or edit pictures or write a blog entry such as this. 

Good night my darling, let's have sweet dreams together.

I love you,
Malou

Letters from the Heart

 Dear Ms. Angie,

Thanks so much  Ms. Angie for inspiring me to write these kind of letters.  You are my blog buddy and you are the first one to give me my blog award.  Thank you for being one of the first friends to welcome me in blog world.

You are so beautiful inside and out and I wish that you be happy always and you will forever be the sweet person that you are.  You always write from your heart and you inspire me so much with your creative chaos. I remember your blog entries with these kind of letters and tonight I feel inspired to write my letters too.    I visited your blog just now  and read you have invitation for The Curriculum.  Wonder of wonders, your first topic is a letter to your best friend, and so this is for you. Although later I will write letters to my childlhood best friends too.   And actually before I  was done writing this for you, before I saw your curriculum, I also started the letter to my hubby - why yes, he is still my crush.  And I will write also about my ex crushes later, lol. I may not be following your curriculum exactly, but that will be my guide.

For acknowledgments, let me just copy and paste from your entry:

30 Letters


I saw this on sweet Leona's blog Cuppycake Lies, and thought it was really really cool.  So to get back into blogging regularly, I think I'll participate, though I'm a bit behind her.

Credit goes to the blog Sleeping With Lions for this.

I also figured this would be fun, it's like 30 days of Dear So & So, which seems to be the favorite of most of you guys.  So enjoy!

The Curriculum:
day 1 — your best friend
day 2 — your crush
day 3 — your parents
day 4 — your sibling (or closest relative)
day 5 — your dreams
day 6 — a stranger
day 7 — your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
day 8 — your favorite internet friend
day 9 — someone you wish you could meet
day 10 — someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
day 11 — a deceased person you wish you could talk to
day 12 — the person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
day 13 — someone you wish could forgive you
day 14 — someone you’ve drifted away from
day 15 — the person you miss the most
day 16 — someone that’s not in your state/country
day 17 — someone from your childhood
day 18 — the person that you wish you could be
day 19 — someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
day 20 — the one that broke your heart the hardest
day 21 — someone you judged by their first impression
day 22 — someone you want to give a second chance to
day 23 — the last person you kissed
day 24 — the person that gave you your favorite memory
day 25 — the person you know that is going through the worst of times
day 26 — the last person you made a pinky promise to
day 27 — the friendliest person you knew for only one day
day 28 — someone that changed your life
day 29 — the person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
day 30 — your reflection in the mirror

Starting tomorrow, who else wants to play?"

So I am playing too, Ms. Angie.   Take care and God bless always.

Malou