Thursday, September 23, 2010

11 - Letter to a Deceased Person I Wish I Could Talk To

Dear Lola Pia,

You are my father's mom, the person I was told I have lots of physical similarities.  They said that you look Japanese, as people tell me now too.  I say you are actually fairer, and with naturally wavy light brown hair and more fragile-looking for you were slimmer too.  You died  before I was  seven years old.
Lola Pia, leftmost, standing, 2nd row, when Lolo Itok died. I am the girl standing in front
I remember the times when you were with us for a short vacation after Lolo Itok died.  Nanay (my mom) and you did not get along well, although harmony was still maintained as you were so self effacing, albeit so sensitive too.  Nanay mocked you as you can't face anyone unless you've powdered your face.  Well, when Nanay got old she did the same too.  Nothing's wrong  with that.  In fact it's nice to smell old ladies with baby's talcum powder.  When I get old, I'll do short cut, I'll just splash on perfume, after shower of course :))

You always kissed us on both cheeks.  My brothers felt like princes and I a princess ( I was the only girl then)  when we visited you.  You offered us all the best that you had.  You taught me basic expressions in Spanish. You taught me how to count in Spanish; you taught me massage techniques so my tummy stays flat  and my breast and  nipples look up to the sky.  Until now, I do that after shower as you taught me.  Thanks you so much for taking the time to bond with me. 

I am sorry that sometimes I also mocked you as Nanay did behind your back.  I was insensitive and ignorant young girl.   I sometimes saw you crying after having an argument with Tiay Charing or with your other children.  They said that you were stubborn and disobedient to doctor's orders.  They were pissed off when your blood pressure was high.  I now understand how you were lonely then.  Your husband, Lolo Itok,  died years ahead of you and you  must have missed him.  He treated like a queen, he was your knight in shining armor.

Lola Pia, I would like to ask you why you were so fair;  if you have Chinese or Japanese blood, etc.  Because people ask me the same.  I would like to know how your parents were; how you played as a child, how many suitors you had; who's your favorite grandchild, etc.  I'd like to learn cooking from you,  would like to teach me more Spanish words, etc.  You were my loving Lola, with you I felt safe and loved.  Thank you for the memories, I wish we had longer time together.



  1. Your lola spoke Spanish and looked Japanese, you say... very interesting... I am reminded of my own grandmother who passed away already, she and I were very close. She's close to my heart, I was devastated when she passed away.

    These are some very openly personal letters you have been writing on your blog, Malou! You must be very brave! :)

  2. Thanks, C. At my age I am quite shameless now.

    You're lucky to have bonded well with your grandmother. I wish I have showed mine more appreciation.

  3. Aw, it's hard to lose those you love when you're little.

  4. True, Ms. Angie...but her goodwill and affectionate ways live on :))


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